


cold dinner on the counter

by ghettoblasterz



Category: Merrily We Roll Along - Sondheim/Furth
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Giving Up, How the hell do I tag this, Multi, Screenplay/Script Format, can't call this fluff but it also isnt angst or smut so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghettoblasterz/pseuds/ghettoblasterz
Summary: a handful of scenes featuring the enigma that is evelyn azadovsky.alternatively: charley is a bad husband and he is very lucky he got to skip the bad boyfriend stage.
Relationships: Charley Kringas/Evelyn, Mary Flynn/Frank Shepard
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	1. 1

It’s November of 1957. Evelyn reads alone in the living room of their apartment in NYC when Mary comes in the door.

Evelyn: You’re late.

Mary: Sorry. The guys and I were down at their apartment. They were demoing a new song for me, actually. Oh, I’m sure you heard it from here! That Kringas fella...he sure has a wonderful voice. And don’t even get me  _ started  _ on Frank Shepard. One day--

Evelyn sighs, and looks back down at her book.

Mary: What? I was ten minutes late, is that the end of the world?

Evelyn: Twenty, actually. Dinner is on the counter. It’s probably ice-cold.

Mary steps into the kitchen. It’s a miraculous five steps away considering the size of their apartment.

Mary: I never asked you to cook, Evie. I could’ve grabbed something with--

Evelyn: --Frank and Charley. I’m painfully aware.

Mary: Is something wrong, Evelyn?

Evelyn: No.

Mary: I don’t believe you for a moment.

She returns to the living room with her cold dinner, sitting beside Evelyn on the sofa.

Mary: Can you tell me what’s wrong?

Evelyn: Putting two and two together has never been your strong suit, has it? It’s those boys, Mary.

Mary: Oh, come on.

Evelyn: No, you come on. I don’t approve of them in the slightest.

Mary pokes at her dinner.

Evelyn: And I’m sure that was tasty twenty minutes ago.

Mary: I don’t understand what your issue with them is. They’re just...I dunno, good guys. Mm, dinner is...Really something, Evie.

Evelyn: I just don’t trust them. They seem like the heartbreaker type.

Mary: You say that about every man to walk the face of the Earth!

Evelyn sets her book in her lap. Mary stands up and heads back to the kitchen to shamefully scrape her dinner into the trash can.

Evelyn: Because it’s true!

Mary: Well,  _ sorry  _ you feel that way. But not all of us live in fear of the average man, you know.

Evelyn: I am  _ not  _ afraid of them. I simply don’t like them.

Mary: Like a queer?

Evelyn: No, not like a queer! Mary, you are _ impossible _ .

Mary: Will all do respect, Miss Evelyn, I find your fear--er,  _ avoidance  _ of men irrational. Don’t you ever want a husband?

Evelyn: I’ll find a man in good time. Now is not that time.

Mary: It never is.

Evelyn glares at her for a moment.

Mary: Tell you what, Evie.

Evelyn: What?

Mary: I am personally inviting you to meet them. They can even come here if you’d like. 

Evelyn: Dear Lord.

Mary: And I’ll be with you the whole time.

Evelyn: ...Fine. But not tonight.

Mary: Good. And did I mention they’re single?

Evelyn: Oh, bug off.

Mary: But the tall one is off dibs. He’s mine, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Evelyn: Knowing you? He never will.


	2. 2

Mary, Evelyn, Charley, and Frank are all sitting around in the boys' living room, sharing drinks. Evelyn is as white as a sheet.

Frank: So, Evelyn, what is it you do again?

Evelyn: Catering.

Charley: Where at? Maybe you could score the lot of us some dinner.

Evelyn: ...Oh, you know. Downtown.

Silence. Mary averts her eyes.

Frank: ...Right.

Evelyn: And for your information, Kringas, I don't give food to strangers.

Charley: I see. You're a good girl, huh?

Evelyn: Good in the sense that I'm better than most, sure.

Charley: Confident.

Evelyn: They always say confidence is key. Don't they, Mary?

Mary is staring at Frank. She snaps out of her daze.

Mary: Mhm.

Frank: Well, I guess we'd better go find something to eat. Anyone wanna come with?

Mary: Sure! Sure, I'll, uh, I'll grab my coat.

She rushes to the coat rack, followed by Frank.

Charley: Looks like you're stuck with me.

Evelyn: (sarcastically) Oh, joy of joys. 

Frank and Mary head to the door.

Charley: Don't lose her, Frank!

Frank: Oh, shush.

The two leave, leaving Evelyn and Charley alone in the living room.

Charley: Well, unless you wanna sit here and stare at me, I could show you around.

Evelyn: The last thing I'd like to do is look at you. Well, come on then. Help me up.

Charley takes Evelyn's hand and pulls her up off the couch.

Charley: Your arm?

Evelyn: No.

Charley: Okay.

They go to the kitchen, not many steps away. A pot of water sits on a turned-off burner. Two whole tomatoes float in it.

Charley: Here's the kitchen.

Evelyn: The kitchen you aren't cooking in?

Charley: You don't like to see me cook, my dear. I could burn this whole complex down in the blink of an eye. Frank is much better with this stuff than I am--His father used to have him cook for them, and...And yeah. So we usually just pick up food.

Evelyn: Interesting. Carry on.

Charley takes her past the living room.

Charley: You've already seen all this. There's Frank's piano if you didn't notice...somehow.

Evelyn: I do love some good piano playing.

Charley: Well, that's a shame then. I don't play.

Evelyn: Oh.

They enter the back hallway. There's a room straight back, flanked by two on either side.

Charley: Straight back is the bathroom, to the right is Frank's room. I won't show you that because he's not here.

Evelyn: Fair enough. Is this your room?

They enter the room to the left.

Charley: In all its glory. Uh...Ignore the mess. I haven't cleaned.

Evelyn: Good Lord, it's a catastrophe. 

Charley sits down on his bed.

Charley: Indeed. But it's my catastrophe.

Evelyn: This better not be the part where you try to have sex with me.

Charley: What? God no. 

Evelyn: Oh.

Charley: You aren't  _ that  _ desirable. I mean, don't get me wrong, you don't look bad, but you aren't someone I'd drop my pants for on a moment's--

Evelyn: --Say no more. Let's...Let's pretend I never said that.

Charley: Fine with me.

They look around in silence for a moment. Evelyn takes this time to survey the clutter.

Evelyn: What even is all this?

She moves to what looks to be a desk, shrouded in papers and boxes and trinkets. She picks up a stack of papers.

Charley: Old plays I've never finished. Drabbles, synopses, what not.

Evelyn holds up a box of flattened water balloons, all filled with long-hardened clay. They are paper thin.

Evelyn: And what are these?

Charley: Oh, that's the discard box. 

He gestures to a stress ball on his nightstand.

Charley: That's the current one.

Evelyn rifles through the desk drawer and fishes out a magazine with a banana-hammock-clad man posing on the cover.

Evelyn: And what's  _ this _ ?

Charley lurches from the bed and snags it from her, shoving it under his pillow.

Charley: Nothing! Just something of mine. Uh.

Evelyn: ...Sure.

Charley: I think that concludes our tour!

Evelyn: ...Yes, I'd imagine it does.

The two return to the living room and never bring up the interaction again.


	3. 3

Evelyn and Charley are standing on the roof of their complex. It’s about 8PM, and freezing cold. They’re just standing there. This is their third date. Dates one and two were spent doing just about the same, standing somewhere and looking out onto the world. It’s very boring and generally unfulfilling.

Charley: You wanna tell me why you dragged me up here?

Evelyn is silent. She wedges her hands in her pockets.

Charley: I must say, never before have I gone smog-watching on a date. Then again, I haven’t been on many dates. You--You know, it’s really funny that you brought me out on a...what, our third date? Most give up after two. Well, define most, right? I don’t date much. I just don’t think many people are that interesting these days. Doesn’t that just sound pretentious? I mean, you could say the same about me, really. I’m a very uninteresting person. I drink black coffee and I mix it with vodka, that’s how bitter I am. And--And who wants a bitter, uninteresting man? I don’t know. I sure don’t. Maybe it’s nice, but to me it just seems so sad, and I am already sad enough. I attract a lot of boring people, you know, and I think that’s why I never date. I don’t need a waking reminder that I attract failures. Oh--I’m sorry, that was mean. I’m not calling  _ you _ a failure. Not at all. Then again, I don’t wake up to you. But I’m not, I swear. You seem very successful doing...whatever it is you do. What do you do again? Oh, that’s right. You don’t like to talk about it. That’s okay. I’ve worked some odd jobs. Some  _ very  _ odd jobs. Do what you gotta to get paid, right? Oh, well, now I’m really thinking. You know, maybe the appeal in a boring uninteresting man is the simplicity of it all. Wake up every day and have the same boring conversations with the same boring guy. I guess I can see that. Simple things are nice. They’re consistent. Consistency is nice, right? I looooooove consistency. Love love love. It’s the one thing that won’t leave you! For me, at least, consistency--

Evelyn collapses down onto one knee. She grabs Charley’s wrist. She pulls a small box out of her pocket and opens it; there’s a silver band inside.

Evelyn: Marry me.

Charley: What?

Evelyn: You heard me. I want you to marry me.

Charley stares at her dumbly.

Evelyn: Am I speaking in tongues?

Charley: No, no. It’s just...why me?

Evelyn: Because I love you. Do you love me?

Charley blinks at the small band. 

Evelyn: Do you love me, Charley?

Charley is mesmerized.

Charley: Sure.

Without so much as a smile, she removes the band from the box and slides it onto Charley’s finger. A perfect fit. She sighs as she stands up.

Evelyn: Now it’s over with.

Charley’s staring down at his hand, turning his wrist to watch the city lights reflect off of it. He looks at Evelyn when he realizes she’s staring at him.

Charley: So what now?

Evelyn: You kiss me.

Charley: Oh.

They kiss quickly, if one could even call it that. Evelyn grabs his hands and holds them in hers.

Evelyn: So, when do you wanna get married?

Charley: I don’t know.

Evelyn: Are you...Are you free next weekend?

Charley: Yeah.

Evelyn: Good. We’ll have it then. Okay. I’m gonna head inside. I’ve got to find a Rabbi and a venue.

Charley: Okay.

Evelyn hurries inside, leaving Charley alone on the rooftop with the New York City skyline.


	4. 4

A few months later, Charley drops out of college for the second and final time and marries Evelyn. Nobody knows how or why they elope, but they simply do. Evelyn moves out of Mary's apartment and into Charley and Frank's. Nobody really questions this, either.

Mary enters the Shepard/Kringas apartment. She knocks on the inside as she enters--she's got a key. Music plays from the record player in the living room. It's obscenely loud.

Mary: Knock knock?

Frank enters from the kitchen. He's wearing an apron.

Frank: Oh, Mary!

Mary: Chef Shepard. Long time no see.

Frank: Well, Evelyn usually cooks. I figured today I'd give her the day off.

Mary: Ah. What's on the menu?

Frank: Broccoli Cheddar soup. You're more than welcome to stay for dinner.

Mary: (sarcastically) I'll see what my schedule allows. Of course I'll stay! No place I'd rather be than with my pals.

Frank: You're too sweet.

Mary: Speaking of sweet, where are the lovebirds?

Frank: Their room. Evelyn is finally helping him clean it.

Mary: Mind if I say hello?

Frank: Feel free. I'll be here if you need me.

Mary walks down the hallway. She can hear Charley and Evelyn bickering in their room.

Evelyn: How many times have I told you to get rid of this stuff? How many?

Charley: I say it's none of your business!

Evelyn: I'm your wife, and I'm telling you I know what's good for you!

Charley: And I'm your husband, respectfully telling you to fuck off!

Evelyn gasps.

Charley: I didn't mean to say that. No, Evelyn! I didn't mean to--

Mary enters the room. The couple jumps.

Mary: Are...Are we alright in here?

Evelyn: Fine, thank you. 

Charley: Yes, all good here. Didn't hear a doorbell, though.

Mary: Well, Frank's music is quite loud. Also, I didn't use one--I've got a key, remember?

Evelyn glares at Charley.

Evelyn: Maybe you  _ would  _ remember if you quit smoking that  _ shit _ .

Charley: Oh, will you stop with that? Oh please, dear wife of mine?

Mary: What? You're just now finding his marijuana stash?

Evelyn holds up a jar, filled with weed.

Evelyn: Look! You knew about this?

Mary: I smoke with him.

Evelyn: Of course you do.

Mary: What are you gonna do with it?

Evelyn: I'm throwing it out.

Charley: NO!

He jumps up off the floor and grabs it from her.

Charley: Unless you wanna see me lose my shit, dearie. And you'd be paying for it.

Evelyn: And just how much of our money have you been spending on drugs?

Charley: None of your concern.

Evelyn: Mary, how can you encourage this? He's bleeding us dry.

Charley: Clearly, you're underestimating my ability to get a discount, but whatever.

Mary: I...I have no opinion.

Evelyn: Complacency is a killer. It's stricken my best friend--Oh, the humanity!

Charley: Why don't you let us smoke with you, Evelyn?

Evelyn: Because I'm no heathen, that's why.

Charley: Sounds to me like you're just stuck up.

Mary: Charley Kringas, that is no way to speak to your wife!

Charley: Sorry. I didn't notice.

Mary: I think both of you have some issues to work out.

Evelyn: The day Charley Kringas aims to better himself in any way will be the death of me. I just know it.

**Author's Note:**

> im so epic and cool look at me finally writing in script format


End file.
